it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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