dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
