I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
