The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
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Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
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I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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