Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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