But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
