i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
