i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
