yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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