Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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