Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
