Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
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