This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
