we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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