they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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