I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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