whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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