please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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