If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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