He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Text me some of your sweat
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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