u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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