the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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