Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
