i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
