I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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