Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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