K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Randomize
