Your dad touched me again.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
