My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
