I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
