I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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