He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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