yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
