Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
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