Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
