He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
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I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
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Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?