Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.