when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
