I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
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