Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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