I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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