There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize