If that was your dad, he is hot
id be glad to
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
