At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
