it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I deserve this hangover.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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