ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
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That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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