Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
