hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
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