You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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