Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
