"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
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