Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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