Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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