I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I wish i was in the wii world.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
