I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
