We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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