Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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