We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Randomize
