It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
