As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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