You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
