At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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