Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Randomize
